With Good Intentions
by Yaminoko-Jeichan
Summary: Takes place a few years after the end of the series, based on both the manga and anime, eventually will be a EiriRyuu fic,
1. Chapter 1

Another long day gone by, like the rest--singing, dancing, spending time with his friends and fans--just another careless day. But he was tired now, not sleepy-tired or bored-tired, just tired. No, not tired, empty--as though some vital piece of his perfect life was missing, vanished, nonexistant; marring his otherwise pristine lifestyle.

He couldn't figure, though, how or what he lacked--he thought of and searched for and listed all he had and wanted, but nothing vital stood out. His perfect life--the life he always wanted, lacked something he couldn't name--something he never had.

Could his life be too perfect? Too perfect that it was imperfect? Was that possible? He always envisioned that a life consisting of singing would suffice, and it did, but still...he couldn't sing forever. Not every second of every day, and acting hadn't helped any more than singing to curb his wandering mind.

Acting--that dream had lasted shorter than he hoped; he loved it, but once the workday ended he found he couldn't keep the emptiness, the futility at bay. A huge void filled his heart and thoughts, he only ever satisfied his want of happiness--and that used to be enough. But he wanted more than self-fulfillment, especially after what he witnessed during his last week in America.

He closed his eyes and whimpered, sighed and felt a warm tear slip from his eye. He heard about it, but never comprehended the reality--never realized that it was something that actually happened. The shock of it--he couldn't overcome, and he hadn't even known the person who'd done it.

"How could...why would someone do that? To be so unhappy...that they..." He felt more tears slide down his cheeks, and his heart seemed heavy, consumed with grief, and he shivered from remembrance.

Flashback:

Sirens blarred, screams, a crowd of people flocking around the body--too late. Some looked up at the overpass where just seconds ago the man had been--where the man had jumped to the pavement below. Someone had called an ambulance and the police, both too late to save the poor stranger.

While, with a bandana tied around his brown hair and sunglasses over his cobalt eyes, Ryuuichi stared numbly at the scene, disbelieving what he saw.

How could someone do that? How could this be real? Why hadn't he realized?

He'd seen the man, had walked by him just minutes before on the overpass, enjoying the view and freedom of walking--and he didn't realize. Even when, after stopping at the end of the overpass to enjoy the view once more, he noticed the man climbing on the railing, it didn't click in his thoughts. It was surreal--all he did was stare, curiously at the man for a second, sensing something wrong, but unsure of what.

Then the next thing he knew, the man jumped.

Jumped--jumped off the railing, off the overpass to the pavement below; and he did nothing but stare, too numb, too distracted from reality to realize--it was real.

End Flashback

"How could someone do that? Why?" He pulled Kumagoro close to him, tears falling freely from his eyes, lips quivering, his words broken by sobs. 'Why didn't I realize? I could've stopped him...if I realized.' "Kumagoro, I was real stupid, I never believed people really did that, and I couldn't save him...because I was stupid."

He could've helped...that thought made the whole experience worse; he had been in running distance the whole time, and could've gotten to the man before he jumped, but...

He felt responsible, he didn't know the guy, but he felt guilty--especially after realizing that he had an exceptionally fortunate life while others...others were in pain enough to jump off bridges. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. Why was he blessed with happiness while other lived unhappily and pained? How could he be so ignorant to not realize that everyone wasn't happy, that everyone wasn't living their dreams; that there were people out there so depressed they chose death over life?

It was wrong, wrong! He didn't have a right to be ignorant in luxury, oblivious to everyone else's suffering. Too many people did that already, the lack of any real news on the suicide he witnessed proved that. Even the obituary of the man failed to say how he died--it only said the death was unexpected.

Unexpected--bullshit, how could someone's pain go unnoticed 'til it reached the breaking point? The people closest to the person should've noticed--if they cared.

"Oh, god, what should I do? Kumagoro and I can't figure out what to do, I want to help...but how? How can I stop the suffering? How can I make everyone in the world happy?"

Silence was the only answer, and he fell fitfully asleep listening to the eerie quiet.

_A/N I started writing this after a dream I had about something like this, will eventually be a Eiri/Ryuu fic._


	2. Chapter 2

Midnight; skies a deep black etched with violet blue hues, and specks of yellowish white stars glistening silently. No moon shown against the darkly shadowed sky--a curious omen, since, for the past week, dark grey clouds had blocked the moon from view, and now, on the first clear-skied night, no moon shown--a curious omen.

A tell-tale sign, symbol, to the residents of a luxurious house graced with three foreign-model cars in the driveway--each without a blemish, perfect in every idle way. Inside the rich, tidy living structure with everything in its proper place, a man with blond hair and light brown eyes stood stoically, staring at a shorter man with wild pink hair and violet eyes.

"You're late."

"I know, practice ran late today and we had a few filmings for shows to do and..."

"Is that so?"

"Yes..." The pink haired man fell silent after staring into the narrowing, glinting eyes of the taller man and he tensed when the taller man stepped closer to him.

Blond hair falling over his eyes, the taller man leaned down to the pink haired one's ear and growled.

"Liar."

"Wha...Yuki, I wouldn't lie to you..." The pink haired one replied, struggling to hide the tremble in his voice.

"Quit lying, I called Seguchi and he said you had a short day at work." Yuki spoke, calmly but with malice within every syllable, and anger glinting in his eyes--otherwise he remained expressionless.

"Oh...I...Yuki, I..."

"He also said you had the whole day off yesterday, the day you said you had a buzy schedule and didn't come home until 1 AM." Yuki grabbed the singer by his shirt and tugged him close. His mouth taut, and teeth clenched, Yuki glared at the singer he held, trying to catch his avoiding eyes. "Tell me the truth, Shuuichi, tell me the fuckin truth or so help me..."

"Ah, Yuki." Shuuichi cried out from how much pressure Yuki's pulling of his shirt put on his neck--Yuki held the shirt so that the collar twisted tightly around Shuuichi's neck--not that the blond noticed in his anger. "Yuki, stop! Okay, so I didn't have work, that's no reason to strangle me!"

"..." Yuki scrowled, then noticed how the collar of Shuuichi's shirt was pressing against the singer's throat, and he relaxed his grip on the garment. "So...so, you admit you lied...care to tell me what you were doing during the time you said you were working?"

"Um, I was hanging out with Hiro."

Yuki scoffed and made as though to grab Shuuichi again, but thought better of it and instead placed his hand against the wall behind Shuuichi.

"Is that so? Why would you need to hang out with him any more than you do at work?"

"Hiro's my best friend! If I want to spend time with him, it's my choice!" Shuuichi shouted, his fear changing to annoyance. "I don't need your permisson to hang out with my friends!"

"No, you don't, but when are friends more important than a lover? For the past week you've been spending more time with them than with me as though you've been avoiding me."

"I haven't...been...avoiding...you." Shuuichi stepped away, out of Yuki's reach, the tremble in his voice returning then fading. "Just because you're horny, doesn't mean you can yell at me like that."

"It's...not...that...you...brat." The writer swallowed, trying hard not to yell even though every impulse told him to. After a few moments of silence, during which Shuuichi had gone to the bedroom, leaving Yuki standing in the hallway. The writer leaned against the wall. "Stupid brat, it's not that." He muttered, trembling as he slid to the floor, tears crowding into his golden brown eyes. "I'm not horny--I'm lonely."

2 Hours Later:

Swaying slightly as he walked down the path through the park, each step bringing him closer to the railing, Yuki stopped suddenly and stared at the twilight sky. Just moments after arguing with Shuuichi, he'd left the apartment determined to not just forget and forgive the brat's stupidity. He was his lover after all, and to blow off spending time together--especially after the brat had complained about him being cold and distant--struck Yuki deep.

"Damn, brat. You bring down my defenses, allow me--no, force me to dispell the shield around my heart, and then...and then you leave me to deal with my demons on my own? Well, fuck you!" He half-shouted the last two syllables, before stumbling a bit to the left, toward the railing--luckily he grabbed hold of a lamppost next to the railing to steady himself, otherwise... "Damn, look at me, almost falling over the railing---stupid brat, I haven't been this drunk in years."

Leaning steadily against the lamppost, the writer stared over the railing past the road below to the open bay. Then to where it opened into the ocean; Entranced, he remained still, mesmerized by the large body of water--the view calming him in some strange way. Maybe his being born under the Astrological sign of Pisces was to blame, but he always found being near large bodies of water calmed him, allowing him to forget his worries as he watched the glimmers of blue and green.

His drunken stupor faded as he stared, calm now from the view--his defenses lack enough to let the memory resurface. The memory, that memory from long ago, the one he'd been trying to forget for the past eight years flew to the forefront of his consciousness. Not surprising since it was the eighth year anniversary of the event the memory depicted--Kitazawa's death.

"Sensei." Yuki whispered, leaning against the lamppost, eyes gleaming with unshed tears. He took a deep, steadying breath to relax the tears away before they fell, and bit his lip to keep if from trembling. But the tears came anyway, the memory was too vivid to ignore, the emotion within too true not to feel--and it tore at the scars that had yet to fully heal.

Shuddering from emotional pain, eyesight blurred, Yuki stared once again at the bay, but instead of his gaze following it to the ocean, it changed its focal point to the railing directly in front of him. Time froze. His tears stopped, breathing slowed, and the only sound was his heart's thumping beat.

Before any conscious thought grabbed hold of him, he found himself with two hands and a foot on the railing, with his other foot almost on the bottom bar. His heart thumping fast, his breathing speeding up, he knew what he was doing and he also knew--he wanted to do it. The only way to forget, the only way to not rely on others who were never there when needed, lay just over the railing, in a place just beyond his reach.

He wanted to find that place, but two lithe, strong arms grabbed him before he reached the top bar, and pulled him down, against a warm and supple chest.


	3. Chapter 3

Two slender, gentle arms held him against a warm, comforting chest—held him as he hadn't been held in years. In a protective embrace, simple but effective in chasing away his pain, forcing it from his heart. He felt the top layer of his depression melt away as he sought more warmth in that embrace—sought more nepenthe-like warmth from those two slender arms.

Eyes closed tight, he leaned into the embrace, too drunk on both alcohol and sadness to care about image—it probably wasn't real anyway, just an illusion conjured by his erratic mind to convince he hadn't jumped. Yes, that was it, he probably had jumped and now his mind was dealing with it through fantasy to make the transition of dying easier.

But why didn't he feel any physical pain? Why did he sense someone carrying him and holding him in a gentle embrace? Was his mind blocking out the pain to feed the illusion, substituting comfort for the pain? Is that why he felt warmth instead of cold? If he had jumped, why didn't death rear its ugly head and wrench him away to wherever the dead go?

Was it all only an illusion? Even his trying to kill himself? Was he only dreaming everything, soon to wake up into the nightmare of living through the day he feared living through?

Should he open his eyes to check? Couldn't he just stay in darkness, and avoid the pain of knowledge?

"Are you still sleepy-sleepy? You should wake or you'll miss breakfast."

Yuki quickly opened his eyes and found himself in an unfamiliar apartment, newly furnished and spacious, littered with pictures and plush toys of a pink floppy-eared bunny. Surprised by the strange cutesiness of his surroundings, the writer repeated the mantra that it was a dream in his head—until one of the pink bunny plushies appeared suddenly in front of him.

"What the…?"

"You should get up now, na no da."

"Uh…." Yuki sat up quickly, finally noticing the person who spoke and held the plushie.

Cobalt blue, innocent eyes stared back at him in awe, framed by drab-brown hair and pale skin. Eyes he recognized from having to stare every morning at the poster the stupid brat insisted on putting on the bedroom wall.

"Shit." Yuki glared at the childish man, recognizing him then as Ryuuichi Sakuma, lead singer of Nittle Grasper, Tohma's band. _'Damn, Tohma probably knows…wait, how did I get here? If Tohma knows why isn't he here? Was it all a dream?' _

Ryuuichi pulled on his arm, trying to drag him out of bed, only succeeding in breaking the writer's concentration on his thoughts.

"Let go." Yuki growled and pulled his arm away before the words escaped his lips, then he made to get out of bed and leave the apartment.

"Are you still upset? Tell me what's wrong, I'll make it better nanoda." Ryuuichi asked in a childish tone that if used by anyone else would be patronizing.

"Baka. I'm in an apartment I've never seen before, with someone older than me with a two year old mentality trying to order me around. Plus I have a terrible headache." He added the last part after a jolt of pain winced through his head. "What isn't wrong?"

"Um…gomen ne. Does that mean you're better than last night?"

"…Last night? What are….I'm fine, all right. I'm going home." The writer got out of bed, still fully dressed, and stormed out of the room searching for the front door _This place is bigger than my house._

"But, why did you try to jump?"

Yuki was halfway through the long hallway when he caught those words and stopped like a stone.

"Jump?" He turned and glared at the brown-haired singer, trying hard to keep his composure—_it wasn't a dream?_ "Jump? What are you talking about?"

"Last night. At the bridge. You tried to jump." Ryuuichi caught up to him, his innocent eyes turning more serious with each step. "I stopped you though, and then I brought you here."

"…." Yuki felt his words catch in his throat, and his stomach turned as he took in the meaning of Ryuuichi's words. He had tried to kill himself, and…and it was the pitifully innocent singer in front of him who stopped him. What was worse?

"…You're not okay. What's wrong? Tell me." The blue-eyed singer grabbed hold of Yuki's arm again, this time holding firmly instead of loosely, speaking the last bit as a command.

"It's none of your damn business."

Elsewhere:

Shuuichi looked around the whole house for his lover, cursing himself for falling asleep instead of waiting for Yuki to return. His violet eyes wide with hope as he went from room to room calling out Yuki's name, he felt his excitement turn to apprehension then worry as his search bore empty results.

"Yuki, where are you? Are you really that angry at me? Yuki…." Shuuichi stepped into the last room his eyes filling slightly with tears, fear shining within them. Had his lover taken off again, like those other times? Gone without a word, leaving him all alone? Had he come back at all after leaving so abruptly the night before?

"Yuki, where…?" _Did he leave? Was he that upset? Or maybe something happened…_ "Oh god, maybe something happened and he's hurt, and it's all my fault! YUKI!" Shuuichi felt fear push through his body, increasing the adrenaline already pumping through his veins. "Yuki, my Yuki is…."

The ring of the telephone resounded through the house, interrupting his thoughts creating new ones still centered around Yuki.

_That must be Yuki, calling to tell me where he is._ Shuuichi hurried to the phone and quickly answered it with 'Is that you Yuki?', but instead of his lover's voice he heard Hiro's.

"Oh it's you Hiro." He paused listening to Hiro, his face drooping. "It's not that, Yuki left and didn't come home last night, and I was hoping he'd call." Shuuichi felt the tears fight against his will to not cry, only half-listening to Hiro on the other end. "I think he may be mad at me—we had a fight last night and he left afterward."

Finally he couldn't hold back anymore and the tears slid down his cheeks, his whole body felt weak as he slid to the floor. He remembered last night clearly, and knew his lover had every right to be upset, but he never knew his lover to leave like that, usually he was the one to leave during an argument—never Yuki. Then there was the strangeness in Yuki's character during the past week, Yuki'd been more sullen and detached than usual, and not once made a sarcastic remark to the singer.

"Hiro, I don't know what to do. Yuki's been acting strange lately, and after last night, I…." Shuuichi sobbed, sliding to the floor. "I have a terrible feeling that something could've happened to him. And I know it'd be my fault if anything did."

He felt his whole body shudder as the sickening feeling of dread passed over him—he'd felt it all last night, but had dismissed it, now he wished he hadn't. It wasn't as strong as last night, but he still felt its power.

"Um? Yes, please come over, Hiro. I…I don't think I can do anything until I find Yuki, I have a terrible feeling and…I…."

Elsewhere:

"I'm on my way, Shuuichi." Hiro spoke into the cell phone, worry written on his face.


	4. Chapter 4

"It's none of your damn business." Yuki growled, glaring at Ryuuichi when the singer had the gall to grab his arm in an effort to stop him from leaving. "Let go of me."

"No, you're not okay, trying to jump off bridges is not normal." Ryuuichi held tightly to the blond, staring straight into his eyes, surprising Yuki by the lack of naiveté in either his voice or expression.

The surprise didn't last as the blond pulled his arm out of the grip of the singer's, and continued to the door, his face stony with anger while inside he burned with fear and shame.

How could he have been so weak that he tried to kill himself?

"It's still not any of your business." Yuki stormed for the door, his insides shaking though his outside persona soon turned stoic.

"I know it's not, but…" Ryuuichi began, his tone teetering between his hidden genius and his overt naiveté. "I wanna make sure you're alright…." He clung onto Yuki's arm, "That you're happy…."

"You want me to be happy? Then let go of me." The writer snapped and shoved the older man off him, his elbow colliding with the man's cheek. The singer fell to the floor from the suddenness of the assault, wincing at the pain in his left cheek when he touched it.

Silent, with tears at the corners of his eyes, he watched the younger man walk out of the apartment, unable to think of any way to stop him. What did he do wrong? He'd only wanted to help, to make sure the blond didn't try to jump off any more bridges, but he found only bitter resistance in response to his effort.

Dejected he looked over to where he'd put Kumagoro, and smiled weakly at the pink plushie.

"Kumagoro, what can I do? I tried to help, but…."

Silence was the only answer

-

Elsewhere:

Hiro raced toward Yuki's house on his motorcycle, anxious to comfort his friend, his frustration bringing his anger for the writer close to the forefront of his thoughts—he couldn't stand seeing his friend hurt because of the carelessness of the blond. He'd like nothing more than to punch the daylights out of Yuki for making Shuuichi sad, but that would hurt Shuuichi as well—and it wouldn't solve anything.

Besides, he didn't know where the writer was, and comforting his friend was more important than beating up said friend's lover.

Damn it, how many times had he watched his friend suffer because of his ill-fated love for the novelist? How many times had he seen Shuuichi so dejected that he'd starve himself for days until Yuki spoke to him again? How many times did he get calls from Shuuichi worrying about where Yuki was or crying about getting kicked out for trying to cuddle with the writer?

Too fuckin many.

Sure, in the past he encouraged Shuuichi to follow his heart, telling that if he wanted to be with the novelist he had to refuse to give up on him—but after seeing his friend suffer through an relationship of mostly downs for the past few years, he let go of his tolerance.

One way or another he would see to it that his friend was no longer hurt by the carelessness of that callous novelist.

-

At Yuki's:

Shuuichi waited on the couch for Hiro to show up, or for Yuki to come back, whichever one came sooner, his stomach growling with hunger he refused to satisfy until his lover returned home. He knew Hiro would try to force him to eat when he arrived, but until then he stood on his hunger strike, heart breaking each second that passed with a stomach growl.

"Yuki." The singer felt the sickening feeling of dread grow in his stomach, though it was as strong as last night when he woke up around two to find Yuki still hadn't returned. True, staying out all night was a habit for the novelist, but last night felt different—it felt wrong for the novelist to be out on his own, felt foreboding.

Besides that Shuuichi felt certain the writer had just finished his current novel and the writer always took a break from work right after finishing a book, so he could regain the sleep he missed pulling all-nighters to make a deadline. According to his habits, Yuki shouldn't've gone out, but he had; hell, when Shuuichi came home last night he hadn't expected Yuki to even be awake—he thought the writer would go straight to bed after submitting the manuscript for his recent novel.

That'd been the only reason he stood out 'til midnight before returning home—for once in his life he decided to give the writer some time alone to relax, staying away the whole day rather than hang around bugging the writer to spend time with him. It took all the control he possessed to do so, but he thought it'd make Yuki happy, or at least less miserable than he'd been for the past week.

"But it didn't." Shuuichi sighed and looked at the floor, hair hanging listlessly from his head, his whole expression downcast. "Why did he get so mad about me not being home like I usually am? I thought he'd like a break from dealing with me."

Slowly he looked up from the floor to focus on the clock ticking away the time torturously.

"Hiro, when are you going to get here?"

**A/N: End of chapter 'cause I don't know what else to write right now. This story's giving me a hard time trying to write it. It's taking me all my self-control to not just skip ahead in the story so I can finish it quickly; it's also taking a lot of discipline to write more to it. Well, please read and review.**


	5. Chapter 5

With Good Intentions:

Chapter Five:

Brown hair falling over cobalt eyes, Ryuuichi held onto Kumagoro, trembling as he tried to figure out what to do—should he call Tohma and tell him what happened? He'd seen a picture Shuuichi always carried around of the novelist, so he knew who the man was—but should he call Tohma? Or maybe he should call Shuuichi?

"Kumagoro, I don't know what to do…I'm worried for him, but I…." Ryuuichi looked up at the ceiling, eyes losing their naiveté. _'Why would he try to…what happened? Did he and Shuuichi….'_

Biting his lip, Ryuu stared back to the floor, handing clenching into a fist.

"Did Shuuichi hurt Yuki-san?" _'Why else would he try to jump? I…I heard him shout something before….'_ Ryuu closed his eyes as he remembered what he heard the novelist say that caught his attention—something about Shuuichi not being there for him…well, the damn brat not being there for him, but Ryuu knew from Shuuichi that that was what the novelist called the pink-haired singer.

Suddenly the silence became deafening and he listened to the tick, tick, tick of the clock in the hallway.

"…I'm gonna go after him…."

-

Hiro arrived at Yuki's ten minutes later, his anger dissipating as worry replaced it. Without a word or thought he walked up to the door and rung the bell, telling Shuuichi it was him.

"Hiro! Thank you for coming!" Shuuichi hugged his friend when he opened the door, flying into Hiro's waiting arms and sobbing. "I'm worried about Yuki, Hiro. He's been gone all night and I think he's mad at me."

"Calm down Shuuichi, let's have something to eat first then let's look for Yuki. Though I'm certain he's all right, he always is."

"How can you be so calm? My Yuki's missing and worse he's pissed at me for spending time with you."

"That's what he's mad about—you spending time with me?" Hiro's reassuring smile faltered and a stab of anger made it back to his heart.

"Well—I lied to him about it, I think that made him angrier." Shuuichi sulked as they stepped into the apartment and Hiro went to the kitchen to fix something to eat.

"As I expect, you haven't eaten yet, have you? Well, I'm making something and you better eat."

"Not until Yuki's found. I'm not hungry."

"Shuu, I'm not having you starve yourself until he comes back—it might be days before that happens, like the last time." Hiro stares at Shuu after getting out some milk and eggs, frowning at Shuuichi's dejected face. "At least eat some eggs or toast even. Just so you don't starve—your fans might start thinking you're anorexic or something."

"I just want Yuki." Shuuichi whined getting out a slice of bread and putting it in the toaster. He ignored Hiro's sigh as the guitarist put the eggs and milk back. "You can make breakfast for yourself if you want."

"I'll just make a slice of toast like you're having."

"Hiro, you shouldn't…."

"What? Starve myself because I'm worried for my friend? You're doing the same thing for Yuki."

"But….I guess you're right." Shuuichi sighed when his stomach growled. "I guess I'll have some eggs if you make them—I don't think I can concentrate to make them myself."

"Good." Hiro got the eggs and milk back out. "Do you want scrambled eggs or an omelet?"

"Scrambled. Not too much though, I'm not that hungry." Shuuichi's stomach growled again as Hiro whipped the eggs up and started heating up a frying pan.

"I won't make too much, Shuu."

-

Wandering around the city towards home, Yuki passed the bridge he almost jumped from the night before. A chill passed through his spine as he glanced at the spot he tried jumping from, a tremble ran through him until he looked away.

'_Don't think about that. Don't.'_

"At least now I know where I am. Now to get home before that brat starts worrying."

Thinking about Shuuichi, Yuki felt a stab of anger rush through him with a tremble of guilt—he felt angry at how the brat had been avoiding him and guilt at how he did the same thing numerous times. The brat never got as enraged as he'd been the night before and the novelist avoided Shuuichi constantly without ever really apologizing. Who was he to get angry over one time? Two times at the most.

"Shuuichi, I'm sorry I got angry." He whispered to the silent air, his heart breaking once again when he neared that spot on the bridge—he shouldn't have come this way. He should've found another way to go, not this way.

Suddenly he found himself by the railing again, staring down at the street below. His eyes slowly lifted to see the ocean and the sky, both blue with the sunlight lighting them up. How calm it would be to swim out on the water between the two blues, so peaceful—the water a sweet nepenthe.

"Hey!" A familiar voice shouted and he heard footsteps running. "Don't you try again…."

'Damn, why did he have to follow me?' Blinking out of his daze, Yuki found himself with a foot on the railing, his hands holding the top bar. 'Damn it! Again?'

Breathing deeply he let go of the railing before Ryuu had to grab him, calming his now racing heart—he hadn't even realized what he'd been doing. How screwed up was he?

"I knew you weren't okay. I'm glad I followed you."

"That…that makes two of us." Yuki exhaled and straightened up, his body slightly trembling as Ryuu watched him curiously.

"Are you all right now?"

Unable to stop shaking, Yuki just shook his head and walked toward a bench. Sitting down he took a few more calming breaths as Ryuu sat down next to him.

"Let me walk you home, or we can go back to my place."

"I need to talk to Shuuichi. He'll be worried about me."

"But isn't he the reason you tried to jump? Why do you want to go back to him?"

"I just…I just need to talk to him, I got angry at him last night and didn't mean to…."

Ryuu stared at Yuki a sad smile on his lips. Brushing his fingers through the novelist's hair, he stood.

"Okay, I'll walk you there—I don't think we'll get past this bridge otherwise."

"All right."

**A/N: End chapter, it's been a long time since I updated this story, I hope there are still people reading this. Guess I'll see by how many people open and review this story.**


	6. Chapter 6

**With Good Intentions**

**Chapter Six:**

After eating five eggs and a slice of toast each, Shuu and Hiro sat on the couch listening to music and talking about the past.

"Remember that time in high school during the school talent show when we stormed on stage and sang?"

"Yeah, my sister Maiko flipped when she found out and wouldn't make me lunch for a month."

"Those were the good days, we got to goof around as much as we wished, playing music…."

"Yeah, but then you almost quit the band for good 'cuz of your parents."

"Yeah, but then I had to fail my college entrance exam, so it was back to guitar for me." Hiro paused and took a drink from a soda can in his hand. "So, did you tell him yet?"

"Huh? What?"

"Did you tell Yuki about Bad Luck touring the states?"

"…no, I didn't…I don't know how to tell him…."

"We leave next week, you have to tell him."

"I know, but I don't want to leave him even for a day! And I know he won't agree to come with the band." Shuuichi's downcast eyes filled up with tears, his lips trembling. "Now Yuki's mad at me and it's my fault—I lied to him and now…." Tears ran down his face, wetting his cheeks as Hiro paused in drinking his soda. "Yuki….Yuki's…."

Thinking quickly, Hiro did the one thing he knew would stop Shuuichi from crying—he kissed him. On the lips, cutting off Shuu's bawling as the singer's eyebrows shot up.

"Hiro…." Shuuichi managed once the kiss ended.

"Shuuichi, I don't want to see you hurt by him again—"

"But Hiro…I've been with him for years, I can't…."

"Yes you can." Hiro leaned in for another kiss, heart pounding.

That's when both heard a sharp intact of breath by the room's door, shocking them to look at the intruder.

"Oh, god."

Yuki stood flabbergasted by the door, mouth hanging open, eyebrows raised at the sight greeting his eyes—Hiro leaning into kiss Shuuichi, and Shuuichi nearly accepting that kiss.

"Shuuichi, how dare you cheat on Yuki-san!" Ryuuichi stormed from behind Yuki, eyes narrowed, naïveté gone.

Hearing those words Yuki snapped out of his shock, his expression changing to neutral, silent anger.

"So…this is what you've been doing."

"No, Yuki, I can explain, it's not how it looks!" Shuuichi pushed Hiro away from him and stood, his eyes shining with fear. "Hiro took me by surprise is all—I would never cheat on you."

Yuki ignored him and turned away, his expression stoic though inside he trembled with anger.

"Pack your bags, you're not staying here anymore." Yuki calmly lit up a cigarette as he spoke, delivering his message as blunt as possible to Shuuichi.

"No Yuki! I wasn't cheating on you, I swear!"

"Then what about the kiss before the one we interrupted?"

"You saw that one…? That was nothing! Hiro was just trying to get me to stop crying about you, I…." Shuuichi stepped toward Yuki, grabbing hold of his hand—cringing when the blond pulled away.

"Get out."

"But Yuki…."

"He said get out, Shuu." Ryuu stepped between them, his cobalt eyes gleaming.

"This isn't any of your business, Sakuma-san." Hiro said. "Wait…why are you with Yuki-san anyway?"

"That isn't any of your concern." Yuki seethed, glaring at each of them. "Now all of you get out now."

"But Yuki…."

"Yuki-san…."

"OUT!"

**A/N: End chapter**


	7. Chapter 7

**With Good Intentions:**

**Chapter Seven**

Quietly Ryuu stood by the door of the apartment, sighing softly—Hiro had left with Shuuichi just moments before. Ryuu pretended to leave as well, but the moment the two were out of sight he came back to the apartment door.

He just couldn't leave the novelist alone after he tried to jump twice within the past twenty-four hours. The image of the suicide he witnessed plagued him each time he thought about giving up and going home. He couldn't let that happen to the novelist.

"Kumagoro…what am I to do?" He took out the pink plushie and held it close. "I want to help, but…." He fell silent when he heard a soft noise come from behind the door—it sounded like sobs. "He's crying?"

Holding Kumagoro close he crouched by the door to listen closely to the sound, biting his lip when the unmistakable sound of crying reached his ears.

"Yes, he is." He stood quickly and brought his hand to the doorknob, hesitating on opening the door—what if Yuki got mad at him? Maybe Yuki was all right now and wouldn't do anything else—after all he wasn't around any more bridges at the moment.

'_Stupid. There's other ways to do that than just jumping._' That thought fought off his hesitation and he opened the door, struggling to see anything in the darkness that greeted him.

"Yuki-san?" He called hesitantly—what if he'd been mistaken about the crying? No—he wasn't, he'd definitely heard crying, but did the novelist need to be comforted. "Yuki…."

He heard something fall in a room down the hall, a sound that terrified him. He ran to the room and peeked inside. Yuki knelt on the floor, a knife on the floor by his feet—and blood on his hand.

"Yuki-san!" Ryuu rushed to Yuki's side, grabbing his arm to see how much it bled—hoping it wasn't too much.

"Get out." Yuki mumbled his face wet with tears, body trembling. "Get…."

"No, not until you're okay." Ryuu checked Yuki's wrists, gasping at how many cuts adorned the skin—scars too. "You've been doing this for a while." Getting no response he made sure none of the cuts were too deep, and then he went to get something to clean the wounds. He made sure to take the knife with him.

"I told you to get out." Yuki growled when Ryuu returned, but he did nothing more when the singer proceeded to clean his wounds, bandaging them as well.

"They're okay now. I should really call Seguchi and tell him…."

"No. You won't."

"But I should….I don't want you hurting yourself more…." Ryuu cradled Yuki's arm in his hand, staring wistfully at the bandage.

"You tell and I swear I'll make your life miserable." Yuki snatched his arm away, and glared at the singer. "Seguchi doesn't need to know—no one does. So you keep everything I've done a secret, or I swear…."

"Fine. But I'll check on you everyday. I probably should even move in to make sure you don't do anything too serious."

"No. You get out now, I've had enough dealing with idiots today…." Yuki paused, running his fingers over the bandage in thought. "You're not as much of an idiot as I thought." He muttered without thinking, quickly regretting it when a smirk appeared on Ryuu's face.

"You noticed."

"Why…you only pretend to be an idiot?"

"Well, I can be smart when I feel like it—I just don't feel like it most of the time." Ryuu paused, sitting down by Yuki. "Now, however, I can't be an idiot—not with something this serious. I won't let you kill yourself…or hurt yourself in any way."

"You're acting like another Seguchi wanting to baby-sit me." Yuki found his cigarette where he placed it before cutting and stuck it in his mouth, calming himself down. "I don't like it."

"Would you rather Kumagoro watch you, na no ka?" Ryuu brought the plushie up to his face as he looked at Yuki with wide blue eyes.

"Stop it, it's not cute."

"Okay. But Kumagoro says he likes you a whole lot, and he's sorry about the whole Shuu and Hiro thing—that's messed up."

"Yeah, it is." Yuki flicked the ashes off his cigarette, not caring that they landed on the floor. The novelist brought his hand to cover his face, head pounding from crying before.

"Don't worry, I'm here to help." Ryuu stood as well and placed his hand on the novelist's shoulder.

"Shuu…."

**A/N: End chapter**


	8. Chapter 8

**With Good Intentions**

**Chapter Eight**

Ryuu kept his hand on Yuki's shoulder, watching the tears run down the novelist's face.

"What should I do now—Shuu….he's…."

"It's okay, I'm here for you…."

"And what the hell can you do?" Yuki glared at Ryuu, eyes narrowed, cheeks tear-stained.

"Well, I…."

Suddenly a strange gleam came to Yuki's eyes and he grabbed Ryuu's hand off his shoulder; his other hand reached back to pull Ryuu's hair, an action that moved the singer's face closer to him.

"Yu—" Ryuu's voice cut off when the novelist brought trembling lips to his, kissing him roughly at first, then gently. "Yuki!" Ryuu stared flabbergasted at the novelist after the kiss ended, his shock apparent in his blush.

That's when he heard a noise behind them, a gasp it sounded like—no more like a strangled cry, and Ryuu turned his head to see Shuuichi standing by the door.

-

Hiro stood outside when Shuuichi went back in, he refused to see the novelist again after hurting his friend by jumping to conclusions. Sure it was his fault—he shouldn't have kissed Shuu, but he needed someway his friend could forget the novelist.

So far it hadn't worked. Shuuichi still ran back to Yuki, more worried how the novelist was taking the misunderstood kiss than about his own feelings. One minute he was crying about how mean Yuki was and the next he thought of nothing else but the well-being of the novelist.

"I don't care what you have to say, how could you….I…." Shuuichi came running out of the door to the building, angry tears streaming down his face.

"But Shuu-kun, it's not what it looks like…." Ryuu stepped out after the pink haired singer.

"Yuki's mine, and you had…."

"He kissed me, I didn't…."

Shuuichi cringed; hurt worse by that thought—safer to keep his assumption than realize the truth. That Yuki kissed Ryuu—no, he couldn't think about what that would mean.

"Come on Hiro, we're leaving." He hopped on Hiro's motorcycle, ignoring the confused look on his friend's face.

-

"You did that on purpose!" Ryuu confronted Yuki, tears in his blue eyes. "Now Shuuichi hates me…why did you have to do that?"

"To get him out of here. I can't stand being around him now. Anyway, it's your fault for not leaving when I told you to."

"But…but….you made Shuuichi hate me! We were friends and now…."

"That's not my problem." Yuki went back to smoking his cigarette, eyes and expression cold.

"You….you….I hate you!" Ryuu turned and stormed out of the apartment, tears running down his face.

**A/N: End chapter**


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